Wellll......

I have been informed that perhaps I have been an absent blogger. That is true yet it has been a necessary break. I only like to blog when I feel things so deeply that I want to share them with others. Lately though, the things I've been feeling I've only wanted to share with select few people.

I'm not even sure how to begin summing up the past two months so I'll just begin and do my very best.

I did not get into medical school. AGAIN. It was a strange sense of deja vu .. to get the email and know what it said although I had really prayed that it would say something different. Where am I going from here? I'm really not any more sure today than I was on November 17th (when I originally found out). I went through some days when I wanted to give up and try something different.. yet that nagging feeling was constantly in my heart.. what if.. what if I took the MCAT and applied again.. what if I got in that time?
I'm not giving up.. I truly feel the Lord is calling me to medical school. My desire to be a doctor is deeper than anything else .. I think if I ever tried to do something else I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Something else that's been really fun the last few weeks is that Cole has been home. What a blessing he is in my life! Whether we are watching a movie, playing a game or going to Wal Mart on Christmas Eve (crazyyy we are..) we have so much fun together. He challenges me in so many ways.. in what I say and how I act towards others. He brings out the best in me and allows me to relax in life. We are different in so many ways and I marvel at that.. yet the ways the Lord has brought us together is amazing. The way we can talk about life, about what we feel God is calling us to do, the way we support each other.. it's all such a blessing in my life.

Each year around Christmas time I pray that God will teach me something new about the Christmas story. I've been hearing it for years.. reading it on my own enough to recite it yet I never want it to lost its authenticity. This year was no exception.. Christmas Eve morning I pulled a book off my shelf that I had never read. A friends mom got it for me as a gift last year for Christmas. It's written by Max Lucado, "An Angel's Story".. such a different perspective for me. The entire book is written from an angel's perspective of the birth of Jesus. It's just incredible to remember that the sweet baby we picture in the manger was also FULLY God.. He has all the power, strength and deserves all the honor and praise too.
The book opens with God's decision to give the world a second gift.. the first gift being choice and Jesus being the second gift. The book explores the battle that takes place between good and evil, in the midst of Jesus being born there was a battle... because Satan wanted nothing more than to keep this second gift from coming to the world.
"Our minds were filled with Truth we had never before known. We became aware for the first time of the Father's plan to rescue those who bear His name. He revealed to us all that was to come. At once amazed and stunned, the eye of every angel went to one part of the child: the hands which would be pierced... they will be healed because of His wounds."
The angels are in awe of the Lord's plan. And they tell Mary this:
"Do you know who you hold, Mary? You secure the Author of grace. He who is ageless is now moments old. He who is limitless is now suckling your milk. He who strides upon the stars, now has legs too weak to walk; the hands which held the oceans are now an infant's fist. To Him who has never asked a question, you will teach the name of the wind. The Source of language will learn words from you. He who has never stumbled, you will carry. He who has never hungered you will feed. The King of creation is in your arms."

Wowww! Lest we forget that the sweet baby Jesus that we see in the nativity scene is solely a baby... He is not!! He is fully our powerful Lord and Savior. Amen.

I think this probably wraps up the most important things of the last couple weeks. I do have some recent pictures of Baxter I should post. And my free time is about to disappear as I begin to study MCAT at least 20 hours a week, work full time and lead youth group at church too. I just pray that I spend this time in between doing exactly what the Lord has planned for me. Anything that brings Him glory..

I heard these lyrics on the radio today at lunch.. they have resonated in my heart.. how differently God does things than we expect Him to. I love it.. He keeps us on our toes and is such a fun God!

.. Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world ..

THE interview

I'm sitting here in Madison at my sweet "madison family's" house.. in my new pajamas which are oh so soft (it's a nightgown.. pretty sure I haven't worn a nightgown since I was 5..) .. contemplating the rest of my day. You see, I know exactly what my day holds. I've done this before.. I can pretty much walk through it minute by minute of what it's going to bring.


Today. I interview for medical school. AGAIN. And this time, I'm praying what everything within me that they let me in. Yet as I sit here, perhaps I am just filled with a peace that comes from the Lord or I haven't fully grasped what I am about to encounter. I have run, showered, eaten breakfast and yet am not nervous at all. A little sleepy perhaps.. hence putting the pajamas back on. Nervous? no. Anxious? not yet. I prayed as I ran this morning and I prayed that today I would show the admissions committee the way that God has ordained every step of my life to bring specifically to this place. I prayed that they would see my passion, determination, and yet above that, that they would see my life being laid before the Father the only way that I know how to lay it. 


I seek medical school with my whole heart because it is where God has led me.. it is the longing and the passion He has put inside me 11 years ago... half my life I have wanted this... now I just pray that I truly get the opportunity to let His light shine. 
Because more than anything, I want to bring Him glory. 


And if medical school was part of that glory plan.. well then heck! Bring. It. On. 

His ways are not our ways

I realized tonight as I puzzled over the last years of my life.. I realized that God's plan was never to be without pain. I wondered about situations I had encountered and I pondered if I was outside of the Lord's will for my life because it just hurt so bad sometimes. Yet, in the midst of my wondering, He stopped me and said, "Think of all the times My people have suffered.. Even my own Son had to die a tragic death." And I realized how right He was ( duhh.. He is always right)..

Just because I am going through situations which bring my heart pain, it doesn't mean I am outside of His will for my life. It may mean I am right inside it. It may mean I am walking through fire and being refined before I can get to the other side.

Although I love the life I am living today.. I never intended my life to look like this as a 22 year old. I had a completely different place to be living, and I had expected different people to be in my life. I expected things to turn out completely differently. But just because I am here now, and it hurt to get here... yes, yes it did.. doesn't mean that this is not the Lord's will for me right now. On the contrary.. I have never felt more sure that this is where God wants me.

Living with two precious girls, who have such big plans and adventures for their lives that after this year, we may not even be in the same country anymore! Working here at a place I adore.. yet I dream of the day I'm in the one in the white coat. Training a dog I love and cherish yet I realize that if I were in medical school right now he would not be a part of my life. Learning how to be a supportive girlfriend and seek the Lord in that area of my life, as well.

All those things.. I never saw myself having them. Never saw myself here. Yet, here I am .. and you know what? I love it. As much as I long for medical school and to be a student again, I truly love where I am right now.

And I can just see the Lord smiling and nodding His head. Because He, more than anyone, knows the pain my heart went through to get here. And yet, He knew all along that it was all a part of His plan.
So I continue to believe that. And I remember the stories of Moses and slavery.. running away.. Joseph being abandoned by his family.. David and the highs and lows of his life.. all those people were used in such amazing ways by God. And yet their lives held so much pain. They walked through so much hurt on the path that God led them.
Then I look at Jesus.. heck, everywhere He turned someone hated Him.. was out to get Him or try to prove Him wrong about something. He escaped every chance He got to talk to His Father (probably to maintain His sanity about these crazy people in the world that He was going to save).. and I need to learn from Him.

Yes, this road that the Lord has for me will have pain.. His people generally do. It doesn't mean I am outside of His will.. it may mean I am exactly where I should be. And that? That is all that really matters to me: being exactly where the Lord wants me..

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God

There are so many things I feel I should blog about.. my trip to disney.. my adorable puppy and how fat he is (muscle, I tell you, all muscle).. how I've been sick and had to miss work (something I NEVER do).. yet I feel a sense to put all that on the backburner.

Sunday, at Sunday School, we sang a song called "Seek ye first".. and the words resonated in my heart. It became ever so clear to me what we, as Christians, are called to do. Yes, we are called to love, to serve, to be examples of the Lord.. yet I feel like so often we DO so much that we forget to seek Him. We forget to seek HIM first.. and above all else.

How often do I go to bed at night, prayers on my lips and heart and yet, not fully formed because my body is so exhausted? I might offer breath prayers as I go throughout  my day but I should be diligent about spending time in conversation with the Lord.

My day should be focused on seeking His kingdom.. truly seeking Him.. more than I seek to build my friendship with anyone else... more than I should be focused on doing well at work..
more than I should be focused on running in the mornings..

The Lord should truly be my number one focus. I should seek Him above all else. Which is exactly what my 12 year olds were taught Sunday morning and I realized how I needed to be taught that all over again, even as a 22 year old college graduate.

above all else..
my purpose remains..
the art of losing myself
in bringing You praise..

Exciting News!!

I received an email today telling me that I was invited to interview for medical school at UMC in Jackson, MS. I cannot explain the feeling of joy and hope that swelled within my heart. A dream that has seemed like it was slipping away between my fingers suddenly came rushing back full force. I imagined what it would be like to get that email that said Congratulations... I imagined about living in Jackson and being completely overwhelmed by school... I imagined being called Doctor (well that actually happened at work.. a sweet lady I work with was boosting my confidence I'm pretty sure)... all these thoughts and hopes swam in my mind.

I so much want them to become a reality. More specifically, MY reality. Yet I know, all too well, that medical school can still tell me no thank you. Actually, they just say no but no thank you seems more polite.

I was telling my roommate Laura just the other day that I know the Lord's hand has been in this year of my life. I know without a doubt that had He wanted me in medical school this year, He would have and could have moved Heaven and Earth to get me there.

I am excited about this opportunity to interview.. to talk to adults about my passion for medicine.. and to try once more for what I feel like will one day be my career.

Will I get that Congratulations email this time? I'm not sure... but I will keep trying until I get there.

"You were made to fill a purpose
that only you can do...
there could never be
a more beautiful you..."

It's really going to be alright...

All day this past Friday and Saturday I almost couldn't belive the difference in my life that a year made. You see, last year on October 8th and 9th, I planned a visitation and funeral. I set up pictures, picked out a black dress, shook so many people's hands and saw family I hadn't seen in years. 

This year, on October 8th and 9th.. I was on my way to Disney world and at Magic Kingdom. Literally the happiest place on Earth. And I realized these scars that I carry around are just that. They are scars. They are no longer gaping wounds.. it's not what I think about the second I wake up every morning. I'm not scared to go to sleep anymore, because it has sunk in that he really won't be here in the morning when I wake up. I carry those thoughts around with me all day long .. yet I don't dwell on them as I used to. I am able to breathe better now. 

Sara Groves's song "It's going to be alright" resonates in my heart... that maybe I'm getting to the day where I will outlive this pain in my heart and I have gained strength from that which tried to tear me apart... maybe I'm reaching the day where my story can be told and it will mirror the strength and courage of my soul. 

I wanted tonight's post to include pictures of Disney and thoughts of that excitedness. Really though.. this is all I can muster. How different my life is right now than last year. 

I'm working full time.. pouring into a job and a puppydog.. learning each day what it means to be a girlfriend.. deep down in my heart still holding onto the dream of medical school.. yet in all this, my dad is no longer here. He doesn't get to hear about my trip to Disney World or meet my puppy. And tonight? That truth tears the scars open a little bit too much for comfort. 

I do know deep in my heart.. the same part of my heart that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has an intricate plan for my life... that it truly is going to be alright. I have walked through fire and come out on the other side much stronger than before.

It's going to be alright...
You'll outlive this pain in your life
and you'll gain such a strength
from what is tearing you apart....

One Year

On this Friday.. this one a year ago.. I found out devastating news. I recevied a phone call (right before fall break) and on the other end of that phone was my brother telling me that my dad had died. That he had had a heart attack.

My breath was knocked out of me. The day was beautiful.. not a cloud in the blue blue sky and the sun was shining just enough but not too much. MSU campus in the fall was breathtaking... all those things I knew I would remember for the rest of my life. And I will.

Today has been hard as I remembered what this day held last year. Tomorrow.. will officially be a year. I'm not sure how much of a difference one day makes.
It's hard.. it's hard to live in a world where my dad doesn't live anymore. I miss him.

I listened to lots of songs after that day.. read many blogs and books about how to cope with such a close family death. I cried.. got mad.. skipped work some days.. yet always went to class.. I became more vulnerable with my friends and let them see ME and know ME. Even on the days when it really hurt.
Because to be in this life.. you have to really live it.. you can't hole up and hope that others come rescue you.. you have to meet them halfway. And this life? I really want to be in it.
I want to live it.. experience it.. every feeling of it.

I'm one of those people who has to feel everything before I can process it. So something like this? Is quite emotionally taxing on me. I have to go through all the hurt, sad feelings before I can move past it. And honestly? I'm not sure I'm there yet.

I found this quote on someone's blog who had lost a child at birth. I feel like it sums up what I feel most days out of the week.
"Grieving is so much more than just being sad. Grieving is comeing to terms not only with what has been lost but also what will never be. Grieving is about finding some way to cope in a world that no longer makes sense, searching for answers to questions one's mind fails to find words to form. Grieving is about forcing oneself to take this life but one breath at a time, just as God instructed, and its about having enough faith to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when it seems that nothing but more darkness lies ahead."

It seems to sum up exactly what I needed to say.. but never found the words. It's exactly how I feel. That there are so many things I need to grieve before I can "move on".. whatever that means.

Tomorrow? Will probably still hurt. I am blessed to have sweet friends who do their best to shower me in presents and things to do like massages! The truth of tomorrow remains the same though.. my dad still isn't here. And that brings an unbelieveable amount of sorrow to my heart that generally pours out through my eyes.

I learned from a song by Sarah Groves though.. that "I believe you will outlive this pain in your heart and you will gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart... after some time has passed and the story can be told it will mirror the strength and the courage of your soul"..
has enough time passed? Was my soul truly courageous?
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord gave me a strength I didn't know I could possess... the week after my dad died I learned how to plan a funeral, buy death certificates and all kinds of things a 21 year old should never EVER have to do. It hurt.. and yet, it helped me cope because it gave me something to do. Lots of somethings.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow won't be filled with to-do lists and my mind won't be whirring of things to get done like these days last year were. Tomorrow .. there will be lots of memories and thoughts. That include "it hurts.. it doesn't seem right.. how does the sun keep shining and how does the world keep spinning and how do the living keep on living after something like that?"

Honestly.. I'm not entirely sure how I live after last October 2. Because sometimes life just seems like chapters of goodbyes. And goodbyes are something I've never been very good with..

Who I am today... is completely a result of this day last year. I walked through fire and was refined before I came out on the other side. I learned how to let the Lord lead more than I wanted to let Him.. and I learned that it was okay to talk to Him about it.. yell.. be upset.. all He asked was that I bring it to Him.. whatever it was.. to bring it to Him..
and tomorrow.. I bring that to Him too.. and lay it at His feet..

when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
.. just watch and see.. it will not be.. unredeemed..

Introducing.... baby puppy Baxter!!

I have been the proud owner of Baxter the puppy for the past 16 days. It has been an interesting experience to say the least. I feel like I am learning so much from having a puppy. Having a living breathing thing that depends on me daily. It has been a reason to get out of bed in the morning. And I mean a literal reason.. because he whines a lot if I don't get up to take him out to go potty.

Baxter reminds me of how life was meant to be lived. He lives to the full in every moment that he has. Whether he is playing tug of war with a toy I actually bought him or tearing up some sewing material, he loves playing. He loves life and he lives it to the full. It reminds me of John 10:10. We talked about it tonight at Bible Study.. and I think of how I hope that I embody that verse.. that I choose life in everything. And I can say with certainty that Baxter embodies that verse. He truly chooses life in all he does. Perhaps because he doesn't know anything different? Nonetheless, I look up to my dog.

And when I show you pictures, trust me... you will too!

 These pictures were taken the day after I got him. I took him out to the Drill Field for a photo shoot.

Can you say ADORABLE???

I really love this dog so much. He has such a funny personality. I enjoy getting to know him more a little every day.

He has a funny little potbelly. I feed him very well obviously.

He is precious. I think everyone should meet him and I think he thinks the same thing. He really gets upset when people don't stop and pet him when we are on a walk.

Sweet puppy.. who he going to teach me all about living life the way it was meant to be lived. But one moment at a time. 

The Lord has truly given me this time to rest and learn what it means to sacrificially love.. and pour myself into things. Even though this year looks nothing like I thought it would be.. I am so grateful to have it. To learn about this "rest of faith" we are taking about in Bible Study. I want to learn what it means to live life abudantly and also learn about this wonderful rest of the Sabbath.

This is THE day

Today has been very difficult for me in so many ways. I found out last night that a friend from Jackson, who played the piano at my dad's funeral, her son committed suicide last week. And my heart absolutely broke for her. Her son was full of life.. was so interesting.. knew so many things and I found him a joy to be around. My head spun a little after I heard that news and it took me a few more minutes to completely wrap my head around the finality of those words that I'd heard.

You see, I know about death. And I know how fast it happens. How quickly that news can turn a world upside down. Because it did it to mine. And that day? The day when my world was turned upside down.. the one year anniversary of that day is quickly approaching. Which also made hearing this news much harder.

I thought and thought for hours about what I could say that could possibly make her feel better. Then I realized.. even after having been through a tragedy myself.. there really are no words that make it feel better. Sometimes there is laughter through tears.. sometimes there is food or chocolate. Sometimes there are post it notes on your front door.. but words to make it feel better. There really are none of those.

And as I pondered this all day, I felt very sad. Very sad that Andrew was no longer here. Very sad that death again had won (for the time being). And just very sad in general.

Until tonight at Bible Study at church. We sang "This is the Day". Many, many times (maybe 4?). By the third time, I realized that this day.. this one that you and I lived today.. it truly was created by the Lord. It was created by Him for us to rejoice and be glad. Maybe tomorrow won't be here. And yesterday is over. But this day today was created especially by Him for us to rejoice. And that rejoicing thing? Is real hard sometimes.
There are days where sadness and darkness seem to loom over ... and there are others where it seems the happiness can never be stamped out. Both of those days were created by God.. for us to rejoice and be glad.

Don't worry. I'm going to have to remind myself of this tomorrow when work is crazy with lots of people.. when I'm driving to get to Jackson.. when I'm exhausted Tuesday morning for work.. I will have to remind myself of that quiet truth that the Lord has laid upon my heart today.

This is the day
That the Lord has made
I will rejoice
And be glad in it.

will you rejoice with me?

I have been a runner since I was 12. Maybe even 11? All I know is I discovered I was fairly swift and I ran with it (... ha. ha. ha.). I enjoyed running cross country all the way through high school and beginning to run longer races in college including 4 half marathons and 1 full marathon. I equate so many things to running or use running to help me figure it out.

In our words and phrases running means so many things. We talk about running away from things, Hebrews talks about our faith as running a race.. we talk about running to the top of the ladder as a phrase to mean being the very best.

I often wonder how I would describe myself if something happened and I was no longer physically able to run. It has always been such an important part of who I am. I even got a dog who can run with me once he gets big enough.

I heard this song though... and it spoke into deep parts of my heart. About what I am really here to do. And what should truly define me. The song talks about how quickly our lives pass us by and only then do we realize the truly important things.
It has a beautiful line about taking in all the colors before they fade to grey. I want to do that. I love this colorful world that I love in.. that I can enjoy a beautiful afternoon with bright blue skies and magnificent green grass. That the sunset contains hues of red, pink, orange, blue, purples... it is such a glorious sight.

Running.. is important to me and thats okay. I can still be a runner. I just have to acknowledge that the important thing in this life. It's how I love. It's how I treat others around me. It's how I help. It's not how far I get.. it's not whether I become a doctor.. it's if I use these breaths the Lord has given me exactly how He ordained them to be used.


When it's all said and done
No one remembers
How far we have run
The only thing that matters
Is how we have loved

and that? I'm still working on it.

Feeling like Singing

I have had some truly exciting, blessed moments in my life in the past 11 months. For the most part though, I didn't always feel like singing. Crying out to the Father? Moan and groan? Simply cry? All those things I felt like doing. But singing joyfully... didn't always come first. Or even second or third

However, recently.. I feel like singing. ALL the time. My roommate will ask me what I'm humming in the shower. Or my co-workers ask me what I'm saying to them when I was really just singing to myself (!!). It is written somewhere in the psalms that even though sadness in here for the night, joy comes in the morning. Perhaps they didn't mean literally the next day morning?

For me, I think morning has come. Tomorrow I am doing something I've wanted to do since December 9, 2009 (when I didn't get into medical school) : get a puppy!! I am beyond excited. I have researched breeds, looked for puppies for MONTHSS ( i mean, seriously.. months.. i tell you), read books about how to train them, what to buy them, what kind I should get... and finally the day has come! I am going to the Tupelo animal shelter in the morning and picking out my sweet puppy.

I realized tonight at home that tomorrow my world will change. And I pondered that. Am I ready for this change? For all that it entails? Am I responsible enough? Sacrificial enough of my time to care for another life? heckk.. I can't keep plants alive. And I realized these are the same questions people ask before doing anything that involves someone else: before they have babies, or get married.. both amazingly great things in their own time.

And I came to the conclusion that yes, tomorrow my world WILL change. But all change is not bad. No matter what I've known in the past about change (and I generally hate it).. not all change is bad.

Change can be good. And this change.. this big decision.. I am making for myself. No one is making it for me.

So, yes, I do feel like singing. Just like this song has been echoing in my head all day..

Unexpected mercy

Is the greatest thing to find
When you’ve been broken many times
My soul found joy
And for the first time in a while
I felt singing


And all I can say is Amen... to Him be the glory...

Being Content

In my last post, I touched on feeling convicted about being content in this life that I am leading these days.

It happened two Sundays ago. The scripture was from Hebrews 13. The verse that stuck out to me was verse 5
"Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have." (The Message).

This life that I'm leading in the here and now is one I have wished for... for months. I dreamed of the day when I would have a full-time job, was able to pay my bills. I dreamed of living with girls I would grow to adore and love spending time with. I dreamed of staying in touch with friends, both near and far. I dreamed of a time when my time was not pulled in 15 directions.. when I was finally able to focus on me and what I wanted to do.

I have a job.. a steady paycheck.. an apt and roommates only the Lord could have blessed me with. I have a boyfriend who believes in me, supports me and is one of my best friends. All these things.. at one time were simply dreams. Now they are a reality. MY reality. Now that I have them, am I really trying to rush this season in my life? That is not very fair of me. Nor very gracious. I need to learn to be content with what the Lord has put in my life in the here and now.

I need to learn to embrace my work and my free nights. Nights to prepare for small group, engage in friendships, read books, rest my body. I have opportunities right now that I wouldn't have if I was in medical school. Opportunities I am excited about: being able to go places on the weekends, be involved in a women's Bible study at church, pour into my Sunday School kid's lives.

I am realizing how extremely blessed I am. In the aftermath of this past year.. my dad dying and not getting into medical school within two months of each other. In the confusion, hurt, overnight maturity that I had to find.. the Lord truly had plans to lead me back to this place. A place where He can lead me beside still waters.. a place where He can restore my soul. And right now? Restoration and still waters sound like Heaven on earth.

I am learning about falling in love with my Jesus all over again. Going through traumatic experiences can bring people closer together if they lean on each other through the circumstances. The last year and a half of my life.. I have let Jesus be that rock and I am learning how to love Him in a way that I couldn't as a 16 year old. Our relationship is deeper and more precious to me than anything on earth.


It's gotta be more like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance

A Starting Place

So many people have started blogs and I really enjoy reading their thoughts. So I decided I would start my own.

I figured this was a good place to start.

This new chapter in my life that really began in May has become more real the past few weeks. I have a "real" job working as a receptionist at Starkville Urology.. live with two sweet, Godly girls in an apt close to MSU.. have an amazing group of friends.. I am learning about this new life the Lord has set before me.
And yet here I am, still longing for more. The Lord really began to convict me about that on Sunday. I have applied to medical school (for the second time) and am truly leaving that all in His hands. In His timing, perhaps that's where I will end up. For right now, He has made it clear that I am to be in Starkville.

Some moments I am thrilled with this life I live. How simplistic it is. I am able to run, work hard during the day, enjoy time with friends and truly rest at night. Other moments I long for the busyness of school, the late night studying, the exhaustion that can come only with staying up late in college, and the routine of my college years. I am truly "growing up", I suppose.

In this time of waiting, I am learning about resting. Which is actually something God started in the first place. He was the one who created a Sabbath to give us an example of what a day of rest looked like. He is the one who would go off and pray by Himself when He needed time alone. And in this time in between for me, I long to learn more about the type of resting that Jesus lived out.

This year (or perhaps longer) between college and medical truly is my time in between. Between the known world of college, books, clubs, being so involved I could barely breathe. In this time, I am learning about.. well, whatever I want to learn about! Whether that is watching season 3 of Gossip Girl allllll night long, playing Words with Friends, running endlessly, obsessing over getting a puppy, learning how to keep a budget, always wearing scrubs (I mean, they are pretty legit), or simply beseeching the Lord about His plan for this season in my life.. I am able to do simply whatever I want. It is a very freeing time right now.

I am learning time-management in a new way. And I'm learning that there is a difference between being still and doing nothing. It has been so refreshing for me to be still, read books, go to sleep early and truly savor every moment of my days. Whether it's a song on the radio, a beautiful full moon or a double rainbow after a smashing rain storm, the Lord is showing up in my life in so many ways. It is truly an honor to witness Him in this way. I think perhaps He was always here and I was too busy to notice? Probably so.

I'm not entirely sure what this blog is going to be.. other than a place where my thoughts flow freely. Much of this post doesn't make sense (even to me). It is ceaseless rambling.. and yet, perhaps that is okay too. I suppose it happens to everyone at one time or another. I'm sure I will continue to ramble. And hopefully I'll have something to say that actually makes sense!



But it's the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song's incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between