This semester since I wasn't in school and "only working", I just assumed I would have hours of free time a day... to read books, blog more, run all the time, walk baxter and help him lose his "puppy weight", and watch tons of tv shows and movies. However, I haven't done very many of those things at all and I'm really not sure why... I have been training for a half marathon. And I walk Baxter almost every day for usually an hour or so. And I do sleep more at night and have been doing a walk-through-the-Bible-in-a-year study (which I am veryyyy behind on).
It has been so nice to have free time, though. I spend lots of time outdoors, especially now that it is so nice outside. I run a great deal... since I am running a half-marathon next weekend in Nashville that I am super pumped about!!
Work has been very time consuming and a bit too dramatic recently. And I'm not really how honest I'm allowed to be, since this is on the internet and all. So, basically, we've had a long-time employee leave recently, very unexpected, and it has thrown us all off our rhythm a little bit. We are slowly regaining our footing and figuring out what works.. it's just taking a bit. But I am leaving in about six weeks. I decided I need a summer before medical school starts in August. So I am taking off June and July and am pretty pumped about it!
My blogging has obviously been slacking and so now I feel very scattered with my thoughts of what to post to catch anyone who may still possibly read this up on life.
I read back through some of my last posts (it didn't take long, as there weren't many of them!) and found this one that still resonated in my soul.
http://katyeherring.blogspot.com/2011/02/learning-to-bloom-where-im-planted.html
I wrote that just a little over a year ago. When I was so incredibly confused about where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing there. Now... I am much more content. Some of it is that yes, I have a clue of what the next four years look like. And for this type-A personality girl who likes to have a plan (preferably written in bulleted form in colored ink), it is a nice place to be. A little less like Babylon, perhaps? A bit closer to the way things used to be... before they got so confusing and out of place.
Yet, the other thing is perhaps this IS the way things were supposed to be. These last two years have shaped me in such incredible ways. I am so much closer to the Lord now and in a new, kind of grown up way. I definitely don't related to Him the same way I did in high school and although I miss the relationship we had then, it can't be like that now because I'm different. Hopefully a little more grown up but definitely different.
There are still so many aspects of life that don't make sense. Things that I'm not completely sure about concerning next year and the next (my future). I try not to dwell on it too much. Especially when I look back at all He has brought me through. He has brought me to this Babylon, and encouraged me to live here. To choose life in this place, when some days I long for Home til my heart hurts. And then He blesses me in this Babylonian place.
I was reminded of these lyrics today as I ran and this song played on my iPod.
"As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever"
Sometimes I forget. So, I try to remember. I try to remember all "these things" that He has brought me through and all the many ways that He has been faithful. When I sit down and remember those things, it is much easier to trust Him with the continuing unknown. Scary? OhMyGoodness, yes. But then I take a breath, and remember. I remember the last two years. And beyond that... I remember as far back as I can and I see that yes, He is good and yes, He is faithful. Does His plan look like mine? Generally, no. Most of the time, it's not anything I ever would have chosen. But He has. And I trust Him... with everything.
So I keep pouring out my heart and remembering how faithful He is.
