A lot of those songs are worship songs and praise songs with some random stuff thrown in there!
This morning I was on my way to school, with Baxter who is going to his friend Cosmo's house to play today! (thanks Anna and Andrew!) I was listening to a Sarah Groves song that talks about His faithfulness. And I recalled all the times in my life when He has been surely that.
Because I am an odd one.. I like to talk to Baxter when he is in the car. I think he likes it too. He always turns his head and tries to figure out what I'm saying. So, while we were in the car this morning I was saying out loud the ways that the Lord has been faithful to me.
I've found that when I say things out loud and hear them, it remind me how true it is. I love to read Scripture out loud for that very reason. I feel like some things were just meant to be said out loud!
It was a joy for me to be reminded of the ways He has always been faithful to me.
This month is affectionately known as "Blacktober" here in the M1 medical school community. We have had 7 tests in 7 days.. 4 on one Monday and then 3 this past Monday. It has been a busy month. Unfortunately, I don't think November gets any better. We have 7 more tests before Thanksgiving break.
Some tests have gone well and some have not. That seems to be the way things work for me. You see... I thought (quite incorrectly) that if med school is where God wanted me to be then I would "do well". And in my mind, I meant do well by my standards. That I would make the grades I wanted and would be a successful, little well adjusted future doctor. That I would be able to say, Oh to God be all the glory for giving me these great test grades.
That hasn't been the case over the past 11 weeks. I know I have walked through some very hard things in my life so I can't say this is the hardest thing I've ever done.. but it is definitely in the top 5. I am realizing that my grades are not a measure of success that I should measure myself by. The Lord is teaching me dependence on Him in an entirely new way. And as hard as it has been, I love Him wholeheartedly. So much so that I would rather stand beside Him through a lifetime of rain than in the sunshine without Him. So much so that even if my grades are just passing after all the work that I've put in, if that's truly where He wants me, I will embrace it.
A friend reminded me last week that I am simply a vessel that the Lord wants to use. I have to empty myself of me and my preconceived ideas of this life. I know that He is good, holy and worthy of praise. Regardless of my day, my mood, my feelings, those things will NEVER change. I know that He will take the gifts He has given me and mold my life into something that will be praising to Him. And sometimes, His plans look very different than mine.
And that's when I remember all the ways He has been faithful. I remember how I didn't have a job, and He found me a job. I remember that I didn't have a place to live and He found one of those too. He led me to sweet friends who are so encouraging, to a puppydog who is precious and full of life, to a boyfriend who makes my heart sing in incredible ways. He truly has been so faithful. And I know that He will continue to be so. And that fact, in and of itself, causes me to continue pouring my life out before Him.
"When all you want in your life is what God wants in your life then all your life you will have all you want."
My friends and I in highschool would say this quote to each other a lot. They are still some of the most encouraging and influential people in my life.
Anddddd just for fun.. some recent pictures!
After our 4-test Monday, I had this guy come and spend some time with me. What a sweet blessing he is in my life. He is encouraging in ways that can come only from the heart of the Father. He loves me with a love that is greater than anything on this earth. It is just another example of how faithful the Lord has been to bring us to each other. I hope that our relationship always brings Him all the glory because I thank Him for it, EVERY DAY!!
Sweet Seattle friend! I have missed Mallory so much. And my relational skills of reaching out has drastically diminished since med school started. I promise I won't be a bad friend forever. We had so much fun at dinner.. able to pick up where we left off and chat and laugh! What a joy she is. (with cuteeeee short hair!)
This little guy laid his head in my lap the other night when I came home and didn't want to leave. I spend about 14-15 hours a day away my house and away from sweet Baxy. I do my best to be a good dog owner but sometime studying must come first. This sweet guy, though.. he always understands. And is so precious.
"He's always been faithful" by Sarah Groves
Praise Him for His faithfulness, always.
I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. --Psalm 146:2
Sweet Baxy gets it from his Sweet Mommy. Thank you, as always, for your precious insights. Praying that you make it to Christmas! And just remember, you won't be in grad school forever :) (that's what I tell Joe and somehow it seems to cheer him up)
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