Wellll......

I have been informed that perhaps I have been an absent blogger. That is true yet it has been a necessary break. I only like to blog when I feel things so deeply that I want to share them with others. Lately though, the things I've been feeling I've only wanted to share with select few people.

I'm not even sure how to begin summing up the past two months so I'll just begin and do my very best.

I did not get into medical school. AGAIN. It was a strange sense of deja vu .. to get the email and know what it said although I had really prayed that it would say something different. Where am I going from here? I'm really not any more sure today than I was on November 17th (when I originally found out). I went through some days when I wanted to give up and try something different.. yet that nagging feeling was constantly in my heart.. what if.. what if I took the MCAT and applied again.. what if I got in that time?
I'm not giving up.. I truly feel the Lord is calling me to medical school. My desire to be a doctor is deeper than anything else .. I think if I ever tried to do something else I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Something else that's been really fun the last few weeks is that Cole has been home. What a blessing he is in my life! Whether we are watching a movie, playing a game or going to Wal Mart on Christmas Eve (crazyyy we are..) we have so much fun together. He challenges me in so many ways.. in what I say and how I act towards others. He brings out the best in me and allows me to relax in life. We are different in so many ways and I marvel at that.. yet the ways the Lord has brought us together is amazing. The way we can talk about life, about what we feel God is calling us to do, the way we support each other.. it's all such a blessing in my life.

Each year around Christmas time I pray that God will teach me something new about the Christmas story. I've been hearing it for years.. reading it on my own enough to recite it yet I never want it to lost its authenticity. This year was no exception.. Christmas Eve morning I pulled a book off my shelf that I had never read. A friends mom got it for me as a gift last year for Christmas. It's written by Max Lucado, "An Angel's Story".. such a different perspective for me. The entire book is written from an angel's perspective of the birth of Jesus. It's just incredible to remember that the sweet baby we picture in the manger was also FULLY God.. He has all the power, strength and deserves all the honor and praise too.
The book opens with God's decision to give the world a second gift.. the first gift being choice and Jesus being the second gift. The book explores the battle that takes place between good and evil, in the midst of Jesus being born there was a battle... because Satan wanted nothing more than to keep this second gift from coming to the world.
"Our minds were filled with Truth we had never before known. We became aware for the first time of the Father's plan to rescue those who bear His name. He revealed to us all that was to come. At once amazed and stunned, the eye of every angel went to one part of the child: the hands which would be pierced... they will be healed because of His wounds."
The angels are in awe of the Lord's plan. And they tell Mary this:
"Do you know who you hold, Mary? You secure the Author of grace. He who is ageless is now moments old. He who is limitless is now suckling your milk. He who strides upon the stars, now has legs too weak to walk; the hands which held the oceans are now an infant's fist. To Him who has never asked a question, you will teach the name of the wind. The Source of language will learn words from you. He who has never stumbled, you will carry. He who has never hungered you will feed. The King of creation is in your arms."

Wowww! Lest we forget that the sweet baby Jesus that we see in the nativity scene is solely a baby... He is not!! He is fully our powerful Lord and Savior. Amen.

I think this probably wraps up the most important things of the last couple weeks. I do have some recent pictures of Baxter I should post. And my free time is about to disappear as I begin to study MCAT at least 20 hours a week, work full time and lead youth group at church too. I just pray that I spend this time in between doing exactly what the Lord has planned for me. Anything that brings Him glory..

I heard these lyrics on the radio today at lunch.. they have resonated in my heart.. how differently God does things than we expect Him to. I love it.. He keeps us on our toes and is such a fun God!

.. Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world ..